The language of grief

There is a woman I know who – over the last two and a half years – has had a way of showing up and saying exactly the right thing at exactly the right time. I’ve known her for a few years, but it wasn’t until a few months after I lost Erica that I became aware of her understanding. And she first made her experience with grief known through a comment on a blog entry.

She did this again the other night when I was at the Katey Campbell Memorial Fundraiser.

Now, to be fair, I had made clear on social media that I was heading into a very difficult evening, but that doesn’t mean everyone’s going to show up to offer their support. In fact, only a very few people did. Several people actively avoided offering support. But I’ll get back to that in a minute. Continue reading

The truth is out

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The kids chose this image because my name is on the “naughty” side of the list.

“Hey, Mommy, the next time you hide Easter eggs, you should hide them in harder spots. I have an idea.”

Whooooo should hide the Easter eggs in harder spots?”


Well, there you have it.

The truth is officially out. Continue reading

My heart caved in on Thursday night, but…

…I think I needed it.CfeicL5XEAARP90.jpg-large

On Thursday evening, I joined almost 400 other people in the community for the Katey Campbell Memorial Foundation fundraiser “Journey of Song Through the Decades.”

I knew it was going to be a difficult night. Continue reading

Violence against women – it’s a men’s issue

“We need more men who have the courage and the strength to start standing up and saying some of this stuff, and standing with women, not against them, pretending that somehow this is a battle between the sexes.”

Continue reading

An open letter to (some) men

Dear (some) men,

In the wake of the Ghomeshi verdict, there are some things you need to know. I’m going to do my best to articulate them here, but it’s been a rough few days as I’ve spent an incredible amount of time and energy defending and speaking on behalf of victims/survivors. Continue reading

A tribute to (some of) the men

Okay, full disclosure before I write the rest of this: Over the past several days, after reading things from men who are moaning about the (non-existent) prevalence of false rape/sexual assault accusations; carrying on about how the Ghomeshi verdict is a good thing for men in general because it will make women think twice; saying that women shouldn’t be allowed to “run around” and just behave/dress how ever they want and not expect men to get turned on and then “play victim” when those men do; lamenting that unwanted kissing/touching shouldn’t be classified as sexual assault, because how was the boy to know the girl didn’t want to be kissed or touched?; arguing that women are angry about the verdict because they believe all men are predators; etc., etc., I have been known to utter (and in one case yell) the words, “You know who I don’t care about right now? The fucking men. I don’t care about the men right now.”

But wait…. Continue reading

On the idea that feminists hate men

5e3166a83153df4cc8a1a715a0e0033eA few days ago, in response to a friend posting about our Prime Minister declaring himself a feminist (and saying he would continue to do so), a man posted that women have more rights than men and that it is not women who suffer inequality, but men.

I replied with a “*cough, cough, choke*” because it was truly all I could muster. Continue reading