With everything that’s going on in my life right now, people often ask me how I am.
My most common answer is, “I’m okay,” followed by some sort of explanation to ‘prove’ that I’m okay or that I’m getting through things.
I know I shouldn’t do that. I know I shouldn’t tell people who genuinely care that, “I’m okay.”
But I do.
I do it to deflect.
I do it to reassure them.
I do it because I know things could be worse.
I do it because they’ve got their own things to deal with.
But I should stop that, because – usually – when I say, “I’m okay,” it means I’m a wreck.
Duly noted.
Crap.
Sometimes, acknowledging you’re a wreck now is the road to being okay later. Being a wreck is not a permanent condition and neither is being okay. They’re both fluctuating transitions. Fluctuate freely! xoM
hmmmmm….
well… the ones that know you well enough will give you the “yeah right” look and then expect you to spill your guts. OR just say “sure you are” and then expect you to change your tune…
Awww, you brought tears to my eyes. I am happy that you have found this new “place” in your journey out of the rabbit hole. <3
Been there Done that. And noted.
In my experience, sometimes we say it, too, because ultimately explaining how we really are is so much work and so emotional that it’s just too hard, it’s so much easier to gloss it over and say, “I’m, fine, don’t worry.” Admitting that you aren’t, that things are hard and you need help is such a difficulty in life, especially when you’re naturally strong and independent.
Exactly!
It’s okay to say, “I’m okay,” if you don’t want to talk about it at the moment. At some point, those who know you best and care about you most will realize that, “I’m okay,” means, “I don’t have the energy to talk about it, but I sure would like some support/help.”
Sometimes, telling people how you really feel takes too much energy – energy that you need to cope, for your own sake and your kids’ sake.
I had a therapist who called me a “normalizer” because I try to reassure people that it’s normal to feel the things they’re feeling by explaining that I feel that way, too. (It’s a great tool when I’m tutoring.) But it really is normal to do what you’re doing. We all do. I like to actually tell people how I’m doing; they’re almost always surprised by an honest answer. Today, I’m tired, stressed, and worried. How are you?