If you read no other blog post today, you must read this: Let’s Get Physical. I’m not kidding.
Becca has very eloquently raised some interesting and important questions. Questions that speak to me.
As much as I wish I could, I have never been in a man’s head. I love men. I even envy men. Y’all seem more laid back, less judgmental of your friends, and more straightforward in general. Plus y’all actually look good with wrinkles. But, I often wonder if men ever desire to be in a woman’s head. I wonder if any one man would ever actually desire to feel what a woman feels.
I can’t imagine that men would want to be in a woman’s head. I mean, they say they want to understand women better, but – generally – they want to understand women better for their own purposes. I think it would be frightening to them to feel what we often feel. To feel the levels of discomfort, even fear, many of us feel around many of them, especially when they are in packs.
Rather than seeing us as pieces of meat,
What would I look like to someone across the room if all he could see was my sense of humor, my personality, my passion or my soul, and would it hold his gaze? … Would he like me sitting Indian style on my coffee table reading to myself as I occasionally tuck my hair behind my ears and snicker aloud when somethings really funny, or would I have to be dressed in lingerie for him to even take time to envision that?
How many of us wonder this? Like Becca, I like to think that who I am is, ultimately, far more important to a potential partner than what I look like (I’m not discounting physical attraction), but I don’t know.
If someone could see what’s in my heart, what’s in my soul, could feel how deeply I care about things, could feel how deeply I hurt sometimes – for myself and for others, knew how funny I think I am, would it hold his gaze?
If he saw me walking around my house barefoot in yoga pants and an old t-shirt, hair in a sad little ponytail to keep it from falling into my eyes while I grade papers, while I help Z and M with the project of the moment and wait for dinner to be ready, would that hold his gaze?
Becca has written this so beautifully, it deserves to be read. Go read it.
Related posts that I’ve written (maybe not as well as Becca wrote hers):
I am so glad that this resounded with you as it did. Thank you for sharing this. Your input is certainly spot on.
Meizac,
You never cease to amaze me. You’re a wonderful friend, and such a strong woman.
Le Clown
*blushes*
Thank you, Le Clown, and ditto…except for that ‘woman’ part.
Meizac
I think your posts are more eloquent than Becca’s, by the way.
As I said to Becca, in my community, men don’t look at women, and don’t talk to women (unless it’s business-related). My biggest complaint is that they cut me in line, won’t help me with a stroller, act as if they own the world or think that I don’t know anything. But, thank G-d, I haven’t yet met a man who thinks that he owns ME. And that’s a world of a difference. Even when I am around non-religious people, I look religious enough that I don’t get that kind of attention. Thank G-d, may it continue to be so, for me and my entire family. Amen.
Thank gawd for you, yes. I don’t know your story, but I am relieved that you don’t have to deal with this kind of thing.
I am, too. In truth, your post and Becca’s were eye-openers for me. I hope you never have to deal with this kind of thing again.
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